“Scary Movie” quotes

Movie Scary Movie
Title Scary Movie
Year 2000
Director Keenen Ivory Wayans
Genre Comedy
Plot – A student is home alone and receives a mysterious phone call from someone who begins to threaten her. The girl runs outside in the garden, until she has no strength left to resist and she gets killed by the ruthless killer. The murder shocks the tranquility of the local college and, from this moment on, a group of scared and curious students start talking about the event. Convinced that a murderer is hiding among them, the active Buffy and the others Cindy, Brenda, Bobby, Greg, Shorty and Ray think about some strategies to defend themselves from danger and to make sure that the criminal gets unmasked. On the spot arrives the reporter Gail Hailstrom, who wants to know everything and does not want to go away. The clashes between those who try to hide and those who try to discover the truth create an endless series of misunderstandings, confusion and quarrels. Behind the mask of the aggressor operates the schizoid madness of a confused mass of images already seen in movies and on TV.
All actors – Carmen Electra, Dave Sheridan, Frank B. Moore, Giacomo Baessato, Kyle Graham, Leanne Santos, Mark McConchie, Karen Kruper, Anna Faris, Jon Abrahams, Rick Ducommun, Regina Hall, Marlon Wayans, Shannon Elizabeth, Lloyd Berry, Cheri Oteri, Matthew Paxman, Chris Robson, Susan Shears, Peter Bryant, Lochlyn Munro, Shawn Wayans, Andrea Nemeth, Craig Bruhnanski, Dan Joffre, Kelly Coffield Park, Kurt Fuller, David L. Lander, Reg Tupper, Tanja Reichert, Kendall Saunders, Babe Dolan, David Neale, Nels Lennarson, Nicola Crosbie, Ian Bliss, Chris Wilding, Trevor Roberts, Glynis Davies, Jayne Trcka, Peter Hanlon, Ted Cole, Doreen Ramus, Lee R. Mayes, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Mark Hoeppner, Jessica Van der Veen, Jim Shepard, Marissa Jaret Winokur, Dexter Bell, Ted Gill, , Johnny Hawkes, Art Hives, Jennifer Anne Lee, Bruce Mahler, Mark Marriott, Anthony McKay, Robin Miller, Zahf Paroo, Ryan Paton, Aubrey Tennant, James Van Der Beek
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  • - The Killer: What's your favorite scary movie?
    - Drew Decker: "Kazaam"! You know, the one where Shaq plays a genie.
    - The Killer: That's not a horrormovie.
    - Drew Decker: Yeah, well, you've never seen Shaq act.

    Dave Sheridan - The Killer
    Carmen Electra - Drew Decker
    [Tag:actors, movie]
  • “- Ray Wilkins: Damn girl, I sure like to get in your pants...
    - Brenda Meeks: Really?
    - Ray Wilkins: Yeah, what size are these?”

    Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins
    Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks
  • “- Gail Hailstorm: Isn't Cindy Campbell's father a suspect?
    - The Sheriff: That is classified information, where did you get this?
    - Gail Hailstorm: Sorry, but my information is strictly confidential shit.
    [Doofy steps out]
    - Doofy: Hi Gail... Gail swallows.”

    Cheri Oteri - Gail Hailstorm
    Kurt Fuller - The Sheriff
    Dave Sheridan - Doofy
  • - Shorty Meeks: Yo, man. It's like I seen all this shit before.
    - Cindy Campbell: They had a killer at you high school, Shorty?
    - Shorty Meeks: No, it was in that movie "Scream". Same dialogue everything. That shit is ill!

    Marlon Wayans - Shorty Meeks
    Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
  • “- Cindy's Dad: Oh you are my little girl, I love you so much that I left you a little something in the coffee can. But you have to remember to step on it before you sell it. Now, what are you going to cut it with?
    - Cindy Campbell: Um... baking...
    - Cindy's Dad: Baking soda. Not baking powder. Because baking powder guys will have muffins growing...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Rick Ducommun - Cindy's Dad
    Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
    [Tag:drugs, laughing]
  • “- Cindy Campbell: We have to call the police!
    - Ray Wilkins: No way! I ain't going to jail!
    - Greg Phillippe: He's right! Cindy, do you know what they do to young boys in prison? All of those sex-starved convicts just waiting for a fresh piece of meat?
    - Ray Wilkins: Hey, Cindy's right. Maybe we should call the police.”

    Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
    Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins
    Lochlyn Munro - Greg Phillippe
  • “A small dick's like a disability, man! Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?!”
    Lochlyn Munro - Greg Phillippe
  • “- Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
    - Buffy Gilmore: Yeah, and Mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner!”

    Dave Sheridan - Doofy
    Shannon Elizabeth - Buffy Gilmore
  • “- The Killer: [reading pornography magazine] Nice breasts...
    - Drew Decker: What do you want?
    - The Killer: I wanna see what your insides look like.
    - Drew Decker: Then turn to page 54.”

    Dave Sheridan - The Killer
    Carmen Electra - Drew Decker
    [Tag:body, pornography]
  • “- Brenda Meeks: You a dumbass.
    - Shorty Meeks: Your Mother.
    - Brenda Meeks: You my Brother, that makes her your Mother too, jackass!
    - Shorty Meeks: Oh, well then your Father's stupid.
    - Brenda Meeks: So? I don't know him.
    - Shorty Meeks: Yeah, me either.”

    Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks
    Marlon Wayans - Shorty Meeks
    [Tag:family, stupidity]
  • “- Policeman #1: Hey, Doofy! Smell my fingers!
    - Doofy: What's that?
    - Policeman #1: That's when you know you've become a man, Doofy.
    - Doofy: Hey, Terry! Smell my fingers!
    - Policeman #1: What the hell is that?
    - Doofy: My ass!”

    David Neale - Policeman #1
    Dave Sheridan - Doofy
  • “- Ray Wilkins: I ain't gay!
    - Bobby Prinze: What are you talking about? You took me to that club.
    - Ray Wilkins: So? They play good music.
    - Bobby Prinze: What about our trip to San Francisco?
    - Ray Wilkins: I wanted to go shopping.
    - Bobby Prinze: [on the verge of tears] But... you made love to me.
    - Ray Wilkins: First of all, you sucked...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins
    Jon Abrahams - Bobby Prinze
  • “- Cindy Campbell: You guys are psychos! You've watched too many TV shows!
    - Ray Wilkins: No! WatchingTV shows doesn't create psycho killers. Canceling TV shows does!”

    Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
    Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins
  • “- Gail Hailstorm: If you could have spoken to her before she died what would your last words to her have been?
    - Shorty Meeks: Run bitch, run!”

    Cheri Oteri - Gail Hailstorm
    Marlon Wayans - Shorty Meeks
    [Tag:advice, death]
  • “The police have asked us to give you the following safety tips: stay in well lit areas, never travel alone whenever possible, always wipe front to back, and remember, never ever believe someone when they tell you that shaving your pubic hair will rid you of crab infestation.”
    Jayne Trcka - Miss Mann
    [Tag:advice, safety]
  • “- Cindy Campbell: Don't you think we should check his wallet first?
    - Buffy Gilmore: For what?
    - Brenda Meeks: Shit, he might have some money.
    - Brenda Meeks: Well, we already committed murder, we might as well rob his ass.”

    Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
    Shannon Elizabeth - Buffy Gilmore
    Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks
    [Tag:murder, theft]
  • “- Homeless Man: You got a dollar?
    - Buffy Gilmore: Get away from me, you bum.
    - Cindy Campbell: Buffy, can't you see he's hungry? Here you go, sir, a nice sandwich.
    - Homeless Man: I said a dollar, bitch.”

    Lloyd Berry - Homeless Man
    Shannon Elizabeth - Buffy Gilmore
    Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
    [Tag:beggars, food, money]
  • - Buffy Gilmore: Hey do you think the press is gonna wanna talk to us?
    - Brenda Meeks: Oh please. The press only wanna interview the most ignorant person they find.
    - Shorty Meeks: I'm on T.V. Oh shit, first "Cops" now this. I'm gonna be a star, son.

    Shannon Elizabeth - Buffy Gilmore
    Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks
    Marlon Wayans - Shorty Meeks
  • “- Cindy's Dad: I thought I heard screaming in here!
    - Cindy Campbell: No, no daddy.
    - Cindy's Dad: No, maybe it could have been the crack I smoked earlier.”

    Rick Ducommun - Cindy's Dad
    Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
    [Tag:drugs, noise]
  • “- Bobby Prinze: You hear? Drew got killed last night.
    - Ray Wilkins: Wait, she had a brother right, Steve?
    - Bobby Prinze: Yeah.
    - Ray Wilkins: Yeah? Long hair, pretty little mouth, perfect ass?
    - Bobby Prinze: Yep, that was her.
    - Ray Wilkins: Nah, I'm talking about Steve. Whatever happened to him?”

    Jon Abrahams - Bobby Prinze
    Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins
    [Tag:brothers, murder]
  • “- Heather: The First Amendment gives us the right to say what we want.
    - Teacher: Oh, shut the fuck up.”

    Andrea Nemeth - Heather
    Kelly Coffield Park - Teacher
    [Tag:right, talking]
  • “- Cindy Campbell: Ray, if you see Bobby, will you tell him that I love him?
    - Ray Wilkins: Okay, if I see Bobby, I'll tell him I love him.”

    Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
    Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins