“- Park Cheol-woong: We put a hypnosis-inducing drug in your water.
- Dae-su Oh: Sodium barbiturate?
- Park Cheol-woong: Ha! TV Man knows it all!”
Dal-su Oh - Park Cheol-woong
Min-sik Choi - Dae-su Oh

“I hope they have cable. I can't watch regular TV without drugs.”

Walter Matthau - Donald Becker

Three tomatoes are walking down the street: a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, "catch up".

Uma Thurman - Mia Wallace

“- Commissioner Brumford: Ladies and gentlemen, I would now like to introduce a most special American. Tonight, he is being honoured for his 1000th drug-dealer killed.
- Lt. Frank Drebin: Thank you. But, in all honesty, the last three I backed over with my car. Luckily, they turned out to be drug-dealers.”
Jacqueline Brookes - Commissioner Brumford
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Border Guard: So, how long you've been in Mexico?
- Pedro: A week. I mean a day.
- Border Guard: Well, which is it? A week or a day?
- Pedro: A weekday.”
Roy Stocking - The Hoods: Border Guard
Cheech Marin - Pedro De Pacas