“- Jake: How much money was in that bag?
- Alonzo: 40 G's.
- Jake: What was that for?
- Alonzo: You really wanna know?
- Jake: Yeah. I asked, didn't I?
- Alonzo: Nothing's free in this world, Jake. Not even arrest warrants.
- Jake: Shit, I didn't wanna know.”

Ethan Hawke - Jake
Denzel Washington - Alonzo

“- Lt. Frank Drebin: Miss, I'm Lt. Frank Drebin, and this is Captain Ed Hocken, Police Squad.
- Busty Female Shop Assistant: Is this some kind of bust?
- Lt. Frank Drebin: Well... it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin
Gina Mastrogiacomo - Busty Female Shop Assistant

“- The Trickster: Why did you leave the school on the day of the murder, Mr. Brower? Where were you last night, Mr. Brower? Were you alone, Mr. Brower? Where's your father, Mr. Brower? Where's your mother, Mr. Brower?
- Michael: Shut up!
- The Trickster: Oh, I don't believe they'll find that answersatisfactory.”

T. Ryder Smith - The Trickster
Edward Furlong - Michael

“He ain't all there is he?”

Dermot Mulroney - Dirty Steve Stephens

“Any question you ever have, the answer you'll find in nature.”
Armin Mueller-Stahl - Doc