“- Malik Brody: The image that Americans have of China is that it's a country full of people with little tiny feet, and they run around and kick the shit out of each other everyday.
- Toby Wong: That's the same image we have of America, except you guys have big feet and kick the shit out of each other less gracefully.”
Kadeem Hardison - Malik Brody
Mark Dacascos - Toby Wong

“- Kate: I'm sorry, I'm a little overly thorough. Some people would say that I am bossy and controlling.
- Rob: No, that's just prejudice. They call you bossy and controlling because you're a woman. But if you were a man doing the same stuff... you'd just be a dick.”
Tina Fey - Kate
Greg Kinnear - Rob

“- Daisy Werthan: I've never been prejudiced in my life and you know it.
- Boolie Werthan: Okay, then why don't you ask Hoke to go with you?
- Daisy Werthan: Hoke? Don't be ridiculous. He wouldn't go.”

Jessica Tandy - Daisy Werthan
Dan Aykroyd - Boolie Werthan

“I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly I see she's not the... bitch I thought she would be.”

Walter Matthau - Max Goldman

“- New Mother: Is it a boy or a girl?
- Obstretrician: Now I think it's a bit early to startimposing roles on it, don't you?”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Obstretrician