“A diesel loves her oil same as a sailor loves rum.”
Kurt Russell - Captain Ron

“- Yzma: That's it, Kronk! Break the door down!
- Kronk: Break it down? Are ya kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany!”
Eartha Kitt - Yzma
Patrick Warburton - Kronk

“I never went in for embroidery, just results.”
Lee Marvin - Maj. John Reisman

“- Rosalee Futch: So he's going to stay in the motel while he fixes up the farm.
- Pete Monash: Like, he's a farmer, all of a sudden?
- Rosalee Futch: I think he'll be a good farmer.
- Pete Monash: Rosie, he's from Malibu, California okay? The only thing they grow there are breasts.”

“- Tom Dodge: What do you think about our boat, Pascal?
- Marty Pascal: I feel I need a tetanus shot just from looking at it. The only thing holding her together, are the bird droppings, sir.”
Kelsey Grammer - Tom Dodge
Rob Schneider - Marty Pascal