“- Ernie McCracken: Oh, creepy! I'm sorry. You know, for the first couple years, I felt responsible. How you been otherwise?
- Roy: You know, in the last 17 years, a day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about what I'd say to you if I ever ran into you again.
- Ernie McCracken: I bet!”

Bill Murray - Ernie McCracken
Woody Harrelson - Roy Munson

- Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: He just wants to know that you don't hate him.
- Beth Jarrett: Hate him! How could I hate him? Mothers don't hate their sons!

Donald Sutherland - Calvin
Mary Tyler Moore - Beth

“I want kids that love me as much as I hated my mother.”
Elizabeth Ashley - Diane Freed

“- Kate: Do you believe in love? The kind that lasts forever?
- Luc Teyssier: I loved my mother.
- Kate: No, everybody loves their mother. Even people who hate their mothers love their mothers.”
Meg Ryan - Kate
Kevin Kline - Luc Teyssier

“I hate that kid so much I could be her mother.”
Kathy Bates - Miss Agatha Hannigan