“- Charlie Gordon: Liz... from the first moment I saw you on that ship... it was my intention to lie to you, I swear.
- Liz LaBreche: Well, that's sweet.
- Charlie Gordon: What I didn't intend, was falling in love with you.”
Walter Matthau - Charlie Gordon
Dyan Cannon - Liz LaBreche

“- Sam Sparks: That's peanut brittle. If either of us touches it, we'll go into anaphylactic shock.
- Flint Lockwood: Actually, I'm not allergic to peanuts. I might have said that to get you to like me.
- Sam Sparks: And you thought having a food allergy would make you more attractive?”
Anna Faris - Sam Sparks
Bill Hader - Flint Lockwood

“- Kay: You know things before they happen.
- Laura Vasquez: I'm a Libra!”
Tommy Lee Jones - Kay
Rosario Dawson - Laura Vasquez

“This is Debbie's chart. It's really weird. Because there was an eclipse the day she was born, both the sun and the moon were blocking Saturn. There should be something missing from her personality.”
Lori Lethin - Joyce Russel

“Oh, we were doomed from the start. I'm an Earth sign. She's a Water sign. Together, we made mud.”

Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon