“- Morgan: What am I supposed to do?
- Dalton: There's always barber college.”
Terry Funk - Morgan
Patrick Swayze - Dalton

“Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! I mean, take a look at you and me. You chose books, I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs.”
Rhea Perlman - Mrs. Wormwood

“She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.”

Groucho Marx - Dr. Hackenbush

“It's easier to shoot a gun than it is to read a book. It's easier to take a man's life than it is to educate him and teach him about life. It's easier to hate than it is to love. The revolution I'm talking about is a revolution of the mind and the spirit. And education, that's the key.”
Robert Hooks - King David

“- Veronica Franco: The Latin for banana is arienna. Banana tree is pala. A woman's greatest, and most hard-won asset... is an education.
- Giulia De Lezze: Just because you can say it in Latin doesn't make it any less obscene.
- Veronica Franco: Just because you took a vow doesn't mean you know how to love.”

Catherine McCormack - Veronica Franco
Naomi Watts - Giulia De Lezze