“- Dexter Reed: I bet you don't have one real problem, do you?
- Ed: I have six toes on my left foot. What kind of problems do you have, Dexter?
- Dexter Reed: Other than the ones you caused? A lot. Most of them started when I was a kid when my parents split up.”
Kel Mitchell - Ed
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed

“The awful thing about life is this: everybody has their reasons.”
Jean Renoir - Octave

“- Chief Painter: What are you doing here?
- Michael Shayne: Ask me later. I haven't thought of an answer yet.”

Donald MacBride - Chief Painter
Lloyd Nolan - Michael Shayne

“- Lee Donley: I believe this is how the Chicago fire got started.
- Gloria Anderson: The Chicago fire was started by a cow.
- Lee Donley: History repeats itself.”

Ann Sheridan - Lee Donley
Helen Vinson - Gloria Anderson

“I love those hick shirts he wears with the boiled cuffs and the way he always has his vest buttoned wrong. Looks like a giraffe, and I love him. I love him because he's the kind of a guy that gets drunk on a glass of buttermilk, and I love the way he blushes right up over his ears. Love him because he doesn't know how to kiss.”

Barbara Stanwyck - Sugarpuss O'Shea