“Sometimes it’s better to just be quiet.”
Michael Rapaport - Doug Gardner

“If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman.”
Jim Carrey - Joel Barish

“- Mom: Honey, I want you to make some friends this summer, lots of them.
- Scotty Smalls: Yeah, I know. But I'm not good at anything, mom. Face it, I'm just an egghead.”
Karen Allen - Mom
Tom Guiry - Scotty Smalls

“You went in there to get a date and came out with a dog. That's bad even for you.”

Bill Murray - Garfield

“- Rosie: I'll be a beautiful young woman, and you be Robbie. Now, ask me out.
- Robbie Hart: You know, I'm really not comfortable...
- Rosie: Hello, sir. Was there something you wanted to ask me?
- Robbie Hart: Fine. Would you like to go out on a date with me?
- Rosie: No. Your penis is too small.”

Ellen Albertini Dow - Rosie
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart