“- Romero: You touch me, he dies. If you're not in the air in thirty seconds, he dies. You come back in, he dies. Twenty seconds.
- Hauk: I'm ready to talk.
- Romero: Nineteen. Eighteen.
- Hauk: What do you want?
- Romero: Seventeen. Sixteen.
- Hauk: Let's go. Let's go!”

Frank Doubleday - Romero
Lee Van Cleef - Hauk

“Sorry, folks. Park's closed. The moose out front shoulda told ya.”
John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld

“Metamucil. It helps you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you get cancer and die.”
J. T. Walsh - Drucker

“- Reporter: Should we believe the hype?
- Boobie Miles: What hype?
- Reporter: The hype about Boobie Miles.
- Boobie Miles: Now hype is something that's not for real. I'm all real.”
Robert Flores - Reporter
Derek Luke - Boobie Miles

“When Jesus comes back he's going to have to give them a 2 day advanced notice, so they can make one of those little graph things.”
Kevin Spacey - Larry Mann