- Mr. Rugg: To the "Save the Dolphins Foundation", $11million. To the "Save The Pumas Foundation", $1.2million. To the "Padigonian Wasps Foundation", $1.4million. To the "Dyslexic Dalmatians Foundation"...
- Carrigan Crittenden: The hell with the livestock. What did the old stiff leave me?

Ben Stein - Mr. Rugg
Cathy Moriarty - Carrigan Crittenden

“- Bill: If I die, you can have my Megadeth collection.
- Ted: But, dude, we're already dead.
- Bill: Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.”
Alex Winter - Bill
Keanu Reeves - Ted

“Let me get it straight. Your father was king. You were his only son. Your father dies. You are of age. Your uncle becomes king.”

Gary Leonard Oldman - Rosencrantz

“- Alex Finch: Where did you learn to dance like that?
- Miranda Jeffries: I inherited it from my father.”
Robert Downey Jr. - Alex Finch
Mary Stuart Masterson - Miranda Jeffries

“- O'Brien: Do you consider yourself a man?
- Winston Smith: Yes.
- O'Brien: If you're a man, Winston, you're the last man. Your kind is extinct. We are the inheritors. Do you realize that you are alone? You are outside history. You unexist.”
Richard Burton - O'Brien
Sir John Hurt - Winston Smith