“You're in a lot of trouble, you know. My father's gonna have you killed. You realize that? Tortured first, naturally. Then he's gonna have you killed.”

Cameron Diaz - Celine Naville

“- Police Constable Cochrane: So what's the pay like then?
- Wallace Ritchie: They pay all your expenses, you're licensed to kill, but there's a down side.
- Police Constable Cochrane: What's that?
- Wallace Ritchie: Torture.
- Police Constable Cochrane: There's the women, though.
- Wallace Ritchie: Well, they're nice after the torture. Believe me.”

Roger Morlidge - Police Constable Cochrane
Bill Murray - Wallace Ritchie

“My bitch better have my money, through rain, sleet, or snow. My whore better have my money, not half, not some, but all my cash. ’Cause if she don't, I'm gonna put my foot in her ass.”
Antonio Fargas - Flyguy

“You don't know when to quit, do ya Griswold?... Here's an idea: why don't you give me half the money your were gonna bet, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day!”
Wallace Shawn - Marty

“I do not give a shit if you knock over Fort Knox. If I don't get my two million back before the week's out, your testicles are gonna be jammed in your eye sockets. You get that? In you're fucking eye sockets!”
Burt Young - Artie Bottolota Sr.