“You want me to get down on my knees and beg you to save the Baker boys from doom? Forget it, sweetheart. We survived for 15 years before you strutted onto the scene. Fifteen years.”

Jeff Bridges - Jack Baker

“- Lydia Mertz: Russell wants his money, and his CDs.
- Suzanne Stone Maretto: Really? Well, you tell Russell if he doesn't keep his mouth shut, he's gonna be playing his goddamn CDs in the gas chamber!”
Alison Folland - Lydia Mertz
Nicole Kidman - Suzanne Stone

“Get your peanut butter out of my sister's chocolate.”
Tina Fey - Kate Ellis

“- Rusty: What could you be scared of, huh? What's the worst fear, that you'll fall in the street? That someone'll make fun of you? I mean, what?
- Walt Koontz: That no one will want to sleep with me anymore.
- Rusty: Guess what, somebody won't.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Rusty
Robert De Niro - Walt Koontz

“I just wanted to spend the night with you, not eternity!”

Meg Ryan - Sydney Fuller