“- Scott Dantley: I know your father. Great senator, great American, outstanding human being.
- Jack Issel: He's managed to stay out of jail despite the bribery, corruption, tax evasion, solicitation, and domestic abuse charges that have been brought against him. At least me and my mom are proud of him for that.”
Michael O'Donoghue - Scott Dantley
Judge Reinhold - Jack Issel

“- Cop: I gotta make an arrest here. I had a complaint.
- Valo: Wait, I got this sports watch, you can have it, here.”
Tony Hawk - Cop
Bam Margera - Valo

“- Lorraine Danel: You've tried everything else and failed. No matter what you do, you'll always fail!
- Stephen Danel: I've never failed and I never will fail.”

Rochelle Hudson - Lorraine Danel
Peter Lorre - Stephen Danel

“We haven't got any use for gamblers around here. You've done your best to ruin baseball, and horse racing, and this is one game that's clean and is gonna stay clean.”
Pat O'Brien - Knute Rockne

“If it wasn't for graft, you'd get a very low type of people in politics. Men without ambition.”

William Demarest - Skeeters - The Politician