“Head Office” quotes

Movie Head Office
Title Head Office
Year 1985
Director Ken Finkleman
Genre Comedy
Plot – Every day, INC.'s directors struggle to get the power. INC. is a large multinational headed by cynic Helms, meanwhile Jack Issel Junior witnesses the death of two of its most important managers. He's the son of an important senator and he's greeted by his superiors. He deals with public relations. He meets Rachel and falls in love with her. Then Jack is sent to represent the company to Allenville and he's supposed to declare some falsehoods to contrast a protest, but he tells the truth indeed and he's immediately dismissed. When INC. is praised to have declared their wrongs, Jack is rehired and finds out Rachel is the daughter of Helms, who is forced to resign. Rachel becomes the new INC.'s owner and the young couple can now live happily in love.
All actors – Judge Reinhold, Lori-Nan Engler, Eddie Albert, Merritt Butrick, Ron Frazier, Richard Masur, Rick Moranis, Don Novello, Michael O'Donoghue, Jane Seymour, Wallace Shawn, Bruce Wagner
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  • “- Max Landsberger: Lesson No.4: the secret to survival here is never make a decision.
    - Jack Issel: Never?
    - Max Landsberger: Never. The minute you do, you're screwed.”

    Richard Masur - Max Landsberger
    Judge Reinhold - Jack Issel
  • “I'm an optimist, Colonel. I look down there and see if there's anything else for me to buy.”

    Eddie Albert - Pete Helmes
  • “- Jane Caldwell: Don't fall for it, Jack.
    - Jack Issel: Fall for what?
    - Jane Caldwell: For the lie we keep telling ourselves. We do the dirty stuff to get the power. It'll give us all the good things we really want. Then we get the power, we can't even remember what goddamn thing what it was we wanted it for in the first place.”

    Jane Seymour - Jane Caldwell
    Judge Reinhold - Jack Issel
  • “- Jane Caldwell: I wanted to inform you that you've been promoted to executive vice president of external relations.
    - Jack Issel: But this is just my first week.
    - Jane Caldwell: Then you must have good friends upstairs. But don't give your hopes up. It's basically the same job you had in the complaints department but with 10% more salary and...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Jane Seymour - Jane Caldwell
    Judge Reinhold - Jack Issel
  • “We care about you, and we care about our employees. INC is the company that cares about people.”

    Eddie Albert - Pete Helmes
  • “I'm one of the most powerful men in the world, and if I can't have someone shot, then what the hell does it mean to have power anymore!”
    Eddie Albert - Pete Helmes
    [Tag:killing, order, power]
  • “- Max Landsberger: Were losing money hand over fist.
    - Jack Issel: That's not true.
    - Max Landsberger: No, but it's our side of the story. Lesson No.55: there are no truths, only stories.”

    Richard Masur - Max Landsberger
    Judge Reinhold - Jack Issel
    [Tag:money, teaching, truth]
  • “- Jack Issel: You're not like the rest of them. How do you survive it?
    - Max Landsberger: I just go with the flow. I flipped out years ago. I only look sane, but I'm not. The secret is you have to be crazy to maintain your sanity up here. But you're sane, Jack. That's why you're going crazy.”

    Judge Reinhold - Jack Issel
    Richard Masur - Max Landsberger
    [Tag:madness, survival]
  • “- Scott Dantley: I know your father. Great senator, great American, outstanding human being.
    - Jack Issel: He's managed to stay out of jail despite the bribery, corruption, tax evasion, solicitation, and domestic abuse charges that have been brought against him. At least me and my mom are proud of him for that.”

    Michael O'Donoghue - Scott Dantley
    Judge Reinhold - Jack Issel
  • “- Al Kennedy: No one trusts me, Mike.
    - Mike Hoover: Al, trust me, they trust you.
    - Al Kennedy: I'm too honest for them.
    - Mike Hoover: You're not that honest.”

    Bruce Wagner - Al Kennedy
    Wallace Shawn - Mike Hoover
  • “I have over 25,000 signatures on that petition. That's the population of Allenville. If your company closes the Allenville plant, those people will lose their jobs and their homes, all because your company can get a little more profit by moving the plant to some poor country where the labor is 10 cents an hour and you guys own the government.”

    Lori-Nan Engler - Rachael Helmes
  • When I said "Write up a report", I wanted you to go out there in the field and listen to what those Allenville protestors had to say! Not make some lunatic suggestion!

    Jane Seymour - Jane Caldwell
  • “- Max Landsberger: When the tough get going, the weak get screwed.
    - Jack Issel: I can't play it like that.
    - Max Landsberger: It's the only way to play it, Jack.”

    Richard Masur - Max Landsberger
    Judge Reinhold - Jack Issel
  • “- Scott Dantley: If the army had the guns, we just might be able to stop the killing.
    - Pete Helmes: It's a bitch of a problem, isn't it, Jack?
    - Jack Issel: Actually, I've been reading that it's the army that's doing most of the killing.”

    Michael O'Donoghue - Scott Dantley
    Eddie Albert - Pete Helmes
    Judge Reinhold - Jack Issel
    [Tag:army, killing, weapons]