“My father has not engaged in conversation for at least twenty years. The monologue is his preferred mode of discourse.”
Sonja Smits - Bianca O'Blivion

“Conversation with Zuzu Petals was like masturbating with a cheese grater: slightly amusing, but mostly painful.”
Andrew Dice Clay - Ford Fairlane

I just want you to know this is, like, the first conversation of, like, three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like, there's this and then in a year it's like: "oh, you know, I'm kinda gonna want to get back out there, but I think I like guys", and then there's the big "oh, I'm... I'm... I'm a gay guy now".
Seth Rogen - Cal

“This is not even my desk! [hangs up]”

R. Lee Ermey - Police Captain

“I had a really long talk with a squirrel one time, longer in fact than I can with most people.”
Bill Murray - John Bosley