“- Jay: You chose me, so you recognized the skills, so I don't want nobody calling me son or kid or sport or nothing like that, cool?
- Kay: Cool, whatever you say, slick, but I need to tell you something about all your skills. As of right now, they mean precisely... dick.”
Will Smith - Jay
Tommy Lee Jones - Kay

“- Scolex: Too bad Hook is taken, eh?
- Sikes: How 'bout Captain Claw?
- Kramer: Or Santa Claw?
- Scolex: Just Claw, one word... like Madonna.”

Rupert Everett - Sanford Scolex
Mike Hagerty - Sikes
Andy Dick - Kramer

“There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society... outside of a kennel.”
Joan Crawford - Crystal Allen

- Poppy: Is your name Chinese or English?
- "Mother" Gin Sling: Indeed Gin Sling is English. It's a nickname as common in this part of the world as the drink sold over the counter.
Gene Tierney - Poppy
Ona Munson - "Mother" Gin Sling

So they call me "Concentration Camp Ehrhardt"?

Jack Benny - Joseph Tura