“- Kurt: What are you, a fag?
- Chris Briggs: My dads are gay, so shut the hell up.
- Kurt: Yeah, right! Gay guys can't have kids! They're too busy going to discos and having sex with each other. It's actually a pretty cool lifestyle.”
Adam Devine - Kurt
Alexander Ludwig - Chris Briggs

“- Anthony: Irish kids develop later, okay. They don't think about sex until they're like 25.
- Mary Ellen: Wow, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life.
- Anthony: It's a biology fact, Mary Ellen, okay. Read a fuckin' book.”
John DeLuca - Anthony
Cecily Strong - Mary Ellen

“You didn't get pregnant with your legs closed!”

Jill Parker-Jones - Lamaze Instructor

“- Lauren Hynde: Abstinence is 100% safe, which is less of a percentage than...
- Lara: Whatever, I don't care, I don't major in math.”
Shannyn Sossamon - Lauren Hynde
Jessica Biel - Lara

“- Charlie Hinton: Maybe we should just ask another question here.
- Jamie: Where do babies come from?
- Charlie Hinton: Y'know, why don't we go back to the dolphins, or something other than that?”
Eddie Murphy - Charlie Hinton
Elle Fanning - Jamie