“- Maureen: Why is she naked? What has that got to do with the plot; her being butt ass naked?
- Phil: I don't know about the plot but I'm gettin a stiffy.”
Jada Pinkett Smith - Maureen
Omar Epps - Phil

“Never, in my wildest imagination, I ever thought it could be like that. That was the most exciting sexual encounter - without actually having it - that I ever, almost had.”

Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr

“Jonathan, until you get laid none of us are safe!”
Rob Lowe - Skip

“- Minister: I never felt like this before. I'm... I'm...
- Joy: Horny? That which reminds me, there's something I've always wanted to ask someone like you. Do you get much?
- Minister: Not too often. Just an occasional glass at dinner.
- Harry Monroe: That's not what she meant.”
Rod McCary - Minister
Claudia Cron - Joy
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. So maybe it's the overstimulated times that we live in that causes young men to stick their... instruments in such... odd places. I knew a certain young men once who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie, and he turned out just fine.”
Eugene Levy - Mr. Levenstein