“- Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?
- The Narrator: ...Consumers?
- Tyler Durden: Right. We are consumers. We're the by-products of a lifestyle obsession.”
Brad Pitt - Tyler Durden
Edward Norton - The Narrator

“- Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.
- Billy Madison: No, you don't.
- Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on. Wooo-eee!
- Billy Madison: No, they didn't.”
Chris Farley - Bus Driver
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“- Buck Laughlin: Tell me, do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor?
- Leslie's Nurse: Uh, no.
- Buck Laughlin: Remind me never to come to you for a physical!”
Fred Willard - Buck Laughlin
Jay-Lyn Green - Leslie's Nurse

“- Abbé Faria: In return for your help, I offer you something priceless.
- Edmond Dantes: My freedom?
- Abbé Faria: No, freedom can be taken away, as you well know. I offer you my knowledge.”
Richard Harris - Abbé Faria
Jim Caviezel - Edmond Dantes

“- Guy Patterson: If Jimmy's a genius, I'm U Thant.
- T.B. Player: Who's U Thant?
- Guy Patterson: He's the Secre... forget it.”
Tom Everett Scott - Guy Patterson
Ethan Embry - T. B. Player