Steve Coogan movie quotes

“- Oliver Hardy: I knew.
- Stan Laurel: Well, why didn't you tell me you knew?
- Oliver Hardy: I thought you already knew I knew.
- Stan Laurel: How could I know that you knew I knew?
- Oliver Hardy: What would my line be here?
- Stan Laurel: Uhm, now I know you knew, but I thought you knew I knew, but you were pretending not to know I knew.”
John C. Reilly - Oliver
Steve Coogan - Stan

“- Stan Laurel: You can't have Hardy without Laurel.
- Hal Roach: That's what you think.”
Steve Coogan - Stan
Danny Huston - Hal Roach

“- Stan Laurel: How about I just punch you right on the nose? I haven't done that for a long time.
- Oliver Hardy: Can I poke you in the eye?
- Stan Laurel: You could wring my neck.
- Oliver Hardy: I think I'd rather poke you in the eye.”
Steve Coogan - Stan
John C. Reilly - Oliver

“You know, when you watch our movies, nobody else in the stories knows us, and we don't know anybody either. It was just the two of us. All we had was each other.”

Steve Coogan - Stan

“- Stan Laurel: You'll be fine, Babe. Just lay off the horses, and don't get married again.
- Oliver Hardy: Oh, I didn't tell you. I proposed to Lucille.”
Steve Coogan - Stan
John C. Reilly - Oliver

“- Oliver Hardy: What are all these Romans doing here?
- Stan Laurel: I don't know. Maybe there's a sale at the Forum.”
John C. Reilly - Oliver
Steve Coogan - Stan

“I'm never getting married again. I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house.”
Steve Coogan - Stan

“- Oliver Hardy: I'll miss us when we're gone.
- Stan Laurel: So will you.”
John C. Reilly - Oliver
Steve Coogan - Stan

“I have so much anger. I feel like I've been raped. In the face!”
Steve Coogan - Dana Marschz

“Do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cut you into string, ball you up and then bat you around for hoouurs in a game that only I understand.”
Steve Coogan - Ozone

“I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise it's just sort of a linear story.”
Steve Coogan - David Ershon

“- Valerie Da Vinci: It's some kind of monster!
- Silas Ramsbottom: Wait, that's not a monster! That's a man wearing shoulder pads. There's only one supervillain whose fashion sense is quite that dated...”

Jenny Slate - Valerie Da Vinci
Steve Coogan - Silas Ramsbottom

- Colin: What we don't need is a curly headed wanker trying to be Captain Kirk.
- Simon Garden: At least he got things done. Imagine you looking for Spock in Star Trek 4: "Oh, sorry, we couldn't find him".
- Colin: That was Star Trek 3. It was called "The Search for Spock"!
Ben Miller - Colin
Steve Coogan - Simon Garden

“- Emma: Is that a gun in your pocket?
- Simon Garden: Uh... no, it's my penis.”
Lena Headey - Emma
Steve Coogan - Simon Garden

“- Brie Marschz: Hamlet 2?
- Dana Marschz: The Deuce. Correct.
- Brie Marschz: Doesn't everybody die at the end of the first one?”

Catherine Keener - Brie Marschz
Steve Coogan - Dana Marschz

“- Gru: I'm a father now, with responsibilities, and a legitimate businessman. I'm developing a delicious line of jams and jellies.
- Silas: Jams and jellies?
- Gru: Oh, attitude. That's right! So thanks, but no thanks. And here's a tip: instead of tasing people and kidnapping them, maybe you should give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt.”

Steve Carrell - Gru
Steve Coogan - Silas

- Alfred: He's a very committed environmentalist.
- Steve: Spike Jonze is a tree hugger? Jesus, I never would've had him down as that.
- Alfred: Well... I think he prefers the term "leaf people".
Alfred Molina - Himself
Steve Coogan - Himself

“It's getting late... and my wife is ovulating.”
Steve Coogan - Dana Marschz

“We are putting on this play and if you don't like it, then tough titties you assturd monkey fucker!”
Steve Coogan - Dana Marschz

“I saw a man strangle a human being - well, an accountant anyway.”
Steve Coogan - Simon Garden

“- Dana Marschz: You can't let your ethnic narrow-mindedness stop your son from thriving in our culture.
- Mr. Marquez: I have to take exception to that characterization.”
Steve Coogan - Dana Marschz
Marco Rodríguez - Mr. Marquez

“You're half-way up a mountain. Crime is the easy path to the bottom. Responsibility is the hard path to the top. But when you get there it's a great view.”
Steve Coogan - Simon Garden

“I'm having a herpes outbreak, right now - but you'd never know it. Thanks, Herpocol!”
Steve Coogan - Dana Marschz

“- Larry: What is your problem, huh? Why can't you just get along?
- Jedediah: Look, we're men. We fight, okay? That's what we do!
- Octavius: It's kinda how we pass the time.”
Ben Stiller - Larry Daley
Owen Wilson - Jedediah
Steve Coogan - Octavius

“- Cricket Feldstein: No one is shutting down this play. The Justice Department and the so-called Supreme Court can suck my balls.
- Dana Marschz: Why do they have to do this?
- Cricket Feldstein: My balls?”
Amy Poehler - Cricket Feldstein
Steve Coogan - Dana Marschz