Steve Coogan quotes
“- Oliver Hardy: I knew.
- Stan Laurel: Well, why didn't you tell me you knew?
- Oliver Hardy: I thought you already knew I knew.
- Stan Laurel: How could I know that you knew I knew?
- Oliver Hardy: What would my line be here?
- Stan Laurel: Uhm, now I know you knew, but I thought you knew I knew, but you were pretending not to know I knew.”
“- Stan Laurel: You can't have Hardy without Laurel.
- Hal Roach: That's what you think.”
“- Stan Laurel: How about I just punch you right on the nose? I haven't done that for a long time.
- Oliver Hardy: Can I poke you in the eye?
- Stan Laurel: You could wring my neck.
- Oliver Hardy: I think I'd rather poke you in the eye.”
“You know, when you watch our movies, nobody else in the stories knows us, and we don't know anybody either. It was just the two of us. All we had was each other.”
“- Stan Laurel: You'll be fine, Babe. Just lay off the horses, and don't get married again.
- Oliver Hardy: Oh, I didn't tell you. I proposed to Lucille.”
“- Oliver Hardy: What are all these Romans doing here?
- Stan Laurel: I don't know. Maybe there's a sale at the Forum.”
“I'm never getting married again. I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house.”
“- Oliver Hardy: I'll miss us when we're gone.
- Stan Laurel: So will you.”
“I have so much anger. I feel like I've been raped. In the face!”
“Do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cut you into string, ball you up and then bat you around for hoouurs in a game that only I understand.”
“- Valerie Da Vinci: It's some kind of monster!
- Silas Ramsbottom: Wait, that's not a monster! That's a man wearing shoulder pads. There's only one supervillain whose fashion sense is quite that dated...”
“- Brie Marschz: Hamlet 2?
- Dana Marschz: The Deuce. Correct.
- Brie Marschz: Doesn't everybody die at the end of the first one?”
“- Gru: I'm a father now, with responsibilities, and a legitimate businessman. I'm developing a delicious line of jams and jellies.
- Silas: Jams and jellies?
- Gru: Oh, attitude. That's right! So thanks, but no thanks. And here's a tip: instead of tasing people and kidnapping them, maybe you should give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt.”
“It's getting late... and my wife is ovulating.”
“We are putting on this play and if you don't like it, then tough titties you assturd monkey fucker!”
“I saw a man strangle a human being - well, an accountant anyway.”
“- Dana Marschz: You can't let your ethnic narrow-mindedness stop your son from thriving in our culture.
- Mr. Marquez: I have to take exception to that characterization.”
“- Cricket Feldstein: No one is shutting down this play. The Justice Department and the so-called Supreme Court can suck my balls.
- Dana Marschz: Why do they have to do this?
- Cricket Feldstein: My balls?”