“- Oedipus - The Roman Empire: Give to Oedipus! Give to Oedipus! Hey, Josephus!
- Josephus: Hey, motherfucker!”

Ronny Graham - Oedipus - The Roman Empire
Gregory Hines - Josephus

“- Homeless Man: You got a dollar?
- Buffy Gilmore: Get away from me, you bum.
- Cindy Campbell: Buffy, can't you see he's hungry? Here you go, sir, a nice sandwich.
- Homeless Man: I said a dollar, bitch.”
Lloyd Berry - Homeless Man
Shannon Elizabeth - Buffy Gilmore
Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell

“- Lu Yan: Innkeeper, more wine!
- Jason Tripitikas: Jeez, Don't you think you've had one too many?
- Lu Yan: Wine is mine inspiration. In some parts, I'm known as the poet [cheers] in other parts, I am known as the beggar.
[when the innkeeper brings the bill, he passes it over to Jason Tripitikas]”
Jackie Chan - Lu Yan
Michael Angarano - Jason Tripitikas

“- Rufus: Sorry, you can't park here.
- Miss Shepherd: No, I've had guidance. This is where it should go.
- Rufus: Guidance? Who from?
- Miss Shepherd: The Virgin Mary. I spoke to her yesterday. She was outside the post office.
- Rufus: What does she know about parking?”
Roger Allam - Rufus
Maggie Smith - Miss Shepherd

“- Market Trader: Isn't it an especially lovely day sweetheart?
- Miss Shepherd: Don't sweetheart me! I'm a sick woman. Dying possibly!
- Market Trader: Chin up love. We all got to go sometime ... [under his breath] Smells like you already have.”
James Corden - Market Trader
Maggie Smith - Miss Shepherd