“- Lt. Dave Spradling: I'm going to charge him with possession and being under the influence while on duty. You plead guilty, I recommend thirty days in the brig with loss of rank and pay.
- Lt. Daniel Kaffee: It was oregano, Dave. It was ten dollars' worth of oregano.”
Matt Craven - Lt. Dave Spradling
Tom Cruise - Lt. Daniel Kaffee

“- Dignan: Your number one strength is you have a car you can provide. Sell yourself! Start over. Ready, go!
- Bob Mapplethorpe: Okay, alright. I'm a risk taker! I'm growin' an entire crop of marijuana plants in my parents back yard! I think that shows...”
Owen Wilson - Dignan
Robert Musgrave - Bob Mapplethorpe

“- Seymour Krelborn: Look, you're a plant, an inanimate object.
- Audrey II: Does this look inanimate to you, punk? If I can talk, and I can move, whose to say I do can't anyhing I want?”
Rick Moranis - Seymour Krelborn
Levi Stubbs - Audrey II

“- Seymour Krelborn: You don't know what you're saying.
- Audrey: But I do! It's the one gift I can give you. And if I'm in the plant, then I am part of the plant, so in a way... we'll always be together.”

Rick Moranis - Seymour Krelborn
Ellen Greene - Audrey

“- Mushnik: Listen Seymour. Just because you put a strange and interesting plant in the window doesn't mean that it'll bring customers!
- The First Customer: Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that strange and interesting plant in the window!”

Vincent Gardenia - Mushnik
Christopher Guest - The First Customer