“It's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?”
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“I mean, you're the grown-up here. If a kid is experimenting and says something flirtatious, you ignore it, you don't encourage it! If a kid says 'Hey, let's make screwdrivers!', you take the alcohol away, and you don't race them to the next drink!”
Ellen Page - Hayley Stark

“When you make a blame sandwich, you gotta be ready to eat it yourself.”

Seann William Scott - John Farley

“Just as a flower does not choose its color, we are not responsible for what we have come to be. Only once you realize this do you become free, and to become adult is to become free.”
Mia Wasikowska - India Stoker

“- Pete: Don't talk to me about responsibilities. I have a life. I have a family. I can't afford to sit in my apartment getting high, jerking off, and then going to Tommy's Chili Burgers at three o'clock in the morning.
- Ronnie: That's not even the order that happens in!”
Paul Rudd - Pete
Chris O'Dowd - Ronnie