“If the dog believes it, the audience believes it.”

James Lipton - The Director

“- Jerry Palter: We don't want people to reach for their remotes here.
- Mark Shubb: It's public television.
- Alan Barrows: They don't have remotes.”
Michael McKean - Jerry Palter
Harry Shearer - Mark Shubb
Christopher Guest - Alan Barrows

“You know these actors are mainly models, which are mainly faggots. And the rest are assholes. Know what bugs me the most about those soaps? It's people with no lives, watching other people's fake lives.”
Aaron Eckhart - Del Sizemore

“TV seems to bring out the worst in people.”
Kiefer Sutherland - The Caller

“- Skye Davidson: No cable?
- Caroline Baxter: I tried get it, but they actually wanted me to pay for 45 miles cable.
- Prof. Lance Davidson: Sounds like a satellite dish would be cheaper.
- Caroline Baxter: Yes, but then the aliens would know where we are.”
Kate Hudson - Skye Davidson
Lucinda Jenney - Caroline Baxter
John Heard - Prof. Lance Davidson