“- Momma: Who the hell are you?
- Larry: I'm Owen's friend.
- Momma: Owen doesn't have a friend!
- Larry: That's because he's shy.
- Momma: No he's not. He's fat and he's stupid!”
Anne Ramsey - Momma
Billy Crystal - Larry

“- Zach: You are such a prick!
- Sparky: Most of my friends are pricks.
- Zach: Most of your pricks are friends.”
John Ritter - Zach
Peter Donat - Sparky

“- The Coachman: I'm collecting stupid little boys.
- J. Worthington Foulfellow: Stupid little boys?
- The Coachman: The disobedient ones who play hooky from school.”
Charles Judels - The Coachman
Walter Catlett - J. Worthington Foulfellow

“- Henry Lowndes: Are you stupid enough to believe that I'd leave you here with my wife?
- Bill Cardew: Your wife?
- Henry Lowndes: Or anybody's wife?”

Melvyn Douglas - Henry Lowndes
Fred MacMurray - Bill Cardew

“- Smokey Adams: Did you ever go to school, stupid?
- Pomeroy Watson: Yeah, and I come out the same way.”
Bud Abbott - Smokey Adams
Lou Costello - Pomeroy Watson