“- Andie: I can't write this article.
- Lana: Is your computer broken?
- Andie: No I've just really gotten to know this guy and...
- Lana: Andie do you see any insignia on my outfit?
- Andie: No.
- Lana: It's because I'm not your girl scout leader, I'm your boss. You'll write the article.”
Kate Hudson - Andie Anderson
Bebe Neuwirth - Lana Jong

- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I mean, she's like your sister!
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Thank you for adding new depth to my confusion.

Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram
Edward Norton - Father Brian Finn

“The great thing about MJ is... when you look in her eyes and she's looking back in yours everything feels... not quite normal. Because you feel stronger and weaker at the same time. You feel excited and, at the same time, terrified.”

Tobey Maguire - Spider-Man

“Let's kick some names and take some ass!”
Allen Covert - Walter

“Don't stand there gawping! Like you've never seen the hand o' God before!”
Graham Arthur Chapman - General