“Keeping the Faith” quotes(2000)
Plot – Jake Schram and Brian Kilkenny Finn are friends of old date. Now they are two successful and handsome singles who live in the Upper West Side of New York. When Anna Reilly, their childhood friend who now is a beautiful business executive, comes back to NY, Jake and Brian change their plans to meet her. The result is an unusual and exciting love triangle, complicated by the fact that Brian is a catholic priest and Jake is a rabbi.
All actors – Ben Stiller, Edward Norton, Jenna Elfman, Anne Bancroft, Eli Wallach, Ron Rifkin, Milos Forman, Holland Taylor, Lisa Edelstein, Rena Sofer, Ken Leung, Brian George, Catherine Lloyd Burns, Susie Essman, Stuart Blumberg, Samuel Goldberg, Michael Charles Roman, Blythe Auffarth, Jonathan Randell Silver, Brian Anthony Wilson, Juan Piedrahita, Kelly Deadmon, Raphael M.A. Frieder, Bodhi Elfman, Chris Gardner, Santi Formosa, Francine Beers, Rena Blumberg, Ellen Hauptman, Liz Larsen, Matt Winston, Nelson Avidon, David Wain, Donna Hanover, Wai Ching Ho, Howard Greller, Brenda Denmark, Marilyn Cooper, Hawk Koch, Craig Castaldo, Keith Perry, John Arocho, Derrick Eason, Ray Carlson, Barbara Haas, Sunny Keyser, Lorna Lable, Paula Raflo, Hillary Brook Canter, Dana Lubotsky, Alexandra Rella, Eugene S. Katz, Tony Rossi, John P. Duffell, Keith Williams, Dagmara Dominczyk, Kryss Anderson, Sophia Alexis, Tony Devon, , Giovanni Capitello, Bronwen Carson, Robin Clark, Andre Da Silva, Dan Griffin, Jeff Millstein, Joseph Oliveira, Victoria Rong, Laura Summer, Amy Wilson, Frank Floyd, Paul Hogan, Martin Pfefferkorn, Jessica Prince, Shabazz Ray, Robert F. Saunders, Bernard J. Tarver, Cliff Townsendshow all
“Keeping the Faith” Quotes 33 quotes
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: There's a reason pandas don't mate in captivity.
- Anna Riley: What does that mean?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: It means these mothers keep making these dates for me that I can't refuse. They're very intimidating, they're like the Kosher Nostra. They're little women but very determined.
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Jews want their rabbis to be the kind of Jews they don't have the time to be.
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Yeah, and Catholics want their priests to be the kind of Catholics they don't have the discipline to be.
“I have a relationship with my phone, we have a chemistry together, I can't explain it.”
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: You want an example? I take her out to dinner, I order dessert, she says she doesn't want any, I get pecan pie. She asks me for a bite, I give her a bite, her face swells up like a chipmunk, she looks at me and says, "Oh, my God, are there nuts in this?"
- Ruth Schram: So what?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Mom! It... (continue)(continue reading)
- Rachel Rose: You write all your own sermons, right?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Actually I download them off the net, there's this great site, www.hotgod.com.
“What do you want me to do? Flagellate myself? Jews don't do that, we plant trees.”
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I wonder why she called you.
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: What do you mean?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: No, I mean, she called you.
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: What, are you in the eighth grade still?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: What? That's a legitimate question. I just - I mean, we're both listed.
- Father... (continue)(continue reading)
“I haven't screamed that hard since the US hockey team beat the Russians.”
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I mean, she's like your sister!
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Thank you for adding new depth to my confusion.
“God was showing off when he made you.”
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I have to go on a date with this woman. Why can't I just say no?
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: I don't know, why can't you?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I can't alienate these women, I need body count at the temple.
“Sometimes we don't see certain things until we're ready to see them in a certain way.”
“I've seen the way women look at you, even though they know you're a priest - especially when they know actually.”
“It's very important to understand the difference between religion and faith. Because faith is not about having the right answers. Faith is a feeling. Faith is a hunch, really. It's a hunch that there is something bigger connecting it all... connecting us all together. And that feeling, that hunch, is God. And coming here tonight, on your Sunday...” (continue)(continue reading)
- Larry Friedman: To be honest, we're less than thrilled.
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok, with what specifically?
- Larry Friedman: With what specifically. Well, with guided meditation specifically, with stand up comedy sermons specifically, with your loose improvisational style specifically.
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok, with people... (continue)(continue reading)
“I don't do penance, I do shots.”
“I love you. I'm in love with you. And I've been waiting my whole life for someone like you and I'm not gonna let you go. Please don't go. Anna, I'm not gonna let you go.”
I remember I fell in love with this girl in Prague. She was beautiful. She looked like Carol Lombard. She grabbed me in the alley behind my church, she pressed me up against the wall, she kissed me. I was so happy I thought I would die, I felt like Richard Chamberlain in "The Thorn Birds", you know with Meggie in the attic.
“People should have to qualify to go out with you. You're too precious to be on the open market.”
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: You told her about us?
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Yeah. She flipped, in a... in a good way. You know, I mean, she laughed for about ten minutes, but she was excited.
“My parents had basically given up on children when I came along, so my mother always called me her 'gift from God'. That really stuck with me and when I was eight I told her I had a feeling I was supposed to return the favor. She was so happy she cried. My dad just wanted to know if working for God came with dental.”
“Hi, this is Anna. Only three people have this number. If you're not one of them, leave me alone.”