“- Don Masseria: Charlie, you're a swell guy. But from now on, if you look the wrong way... if you even fart in the wrong direction, then you end up like Rothstein.
- Charlie 'Lucky' Luciano: Joe, you're always complaining I don't eat. If I don't eat, how am I gonna fart?”
Anthony Quinn - Don Masseria
Christian Slater - Charlie 'Lucky' Luciano

“You're not being rude, dear, you're just being yourself.”

Claudette Colbert - Gerry Jeffers

“Minimumwage for a maximum loser!”
Alexandra Holden - Lulu

- Billy: She's the only girl that makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. When I'm not with her... I'm not living. I'm only existing until I can hold her in my arms again.
- Jessica: [sighs]
- Jake: "Gay, gay, gay, gay."
Matthew Lawrence - Billy
Rob Schneider - Jessica
Eric Christian Olsen - Jake

“I gotta go to the John, I'll be right back. Gonna introduce Mr. Thick Dick to Mr. Urinal Cake!”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig