“- Seth: Hey Greg, why don't you go piss your pants?
- Greg the Soccer Player: That was like 8 years ago, asshole!
- Seth: People don't forget!”
Jonah Hill - Seth
Dave Franco - Greg the Soccer Player

“- Miles Russell: You have much more hair in your nose than my dad.
- Buck Russell: How nice of you to notice.
- Miles Russell: I'm a kid, that's my job.”
Macaulay Culkin - Miles Russell
John Candy - Buck Russell

“Here's where we separate the men from the boys.”

John Candy - Buck Russell

“- Emmett: I can't believe you just called me a butthead. I don't think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade.
- Elle Woods: Maybe not to your face.”
Luke Wilson - Emmett
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

“My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.”

Helena Bonham Carter - Marla Singer