“The Private Eyes” quotes(1980)
All actors – Tim Conway, Don Knotts, Trisha Noble, Bernard Fox, Grace Zabriskie, John Fujioka, Stan Ross, Irwin Keyes, Suzy Mandel, Fred Stuthman, Mary Nell Santacroce, Robert V. Barronshow all
“The Private Eyes” Quotes 12 quotes
“- Jock: My name is Jock. I'm the groom. I was under Lord Morley's command in India. He had my tongue cut out...
- Inspector Winship: Just a second. What did you say?
- Dr. Tart: He said that his name is Jock. He was under Lord Morley's command...
- Inspector Winship: Will you shut up?
- Dr. Tart: That's what he said!”
“You know what she always used to say? She said if you had another brain you'd be lonesome.”
“- Mr. Uwatsum: How about a nice bowl of fish eyes?
- Inspector Winship: Will you pardon me, please?
- Mr. Uwatsum: Ah... Do you like hummingbird cookies?
- Dr. Tart: No, thank you.”
“The help is all gone, the house is bare. Now you know, a shadow is there. There's one left to die, then my job'll be done. I like killing people, it's a lotta kicks!”
“Look at that house. That's bigger than that hometown I grew up in.”
“- Gas Station Attendant: Do you know you got stuff all over your face?
- Dr. Tart: Huh?
- Gas Station Attendant: You got stuff all over your face.
- Inspector Winship: He's oiling his brain.”
“If Jock could talk, he'd give you a clue. But now that he's dead, what can you do? He deserved what he got, I don't regret it a bit. By the way, you're standing in bull ca-ca.”
“- Justin: I am Justin, the butler. I was accused of killing my wife and her lovers. But Lord Morley, bless him, convinced the authorities it was a case of justifiable insanity... and I've served him happily... ever since...
- Dr. Tart: How many lovers did your wife have?
- Justin: Thirteen.”
“- Inspector Winship: How could Lord Morley write us after he was already dead?
- Dr. Tart: Right! You know what? Maybe whoever killed Lord Morley wrote that letter.
- Inspector Winship: If you killed Lord Morley would you write to someone and ask them to find the killer?
- Dr. Tart: Are you saying I killed Lord Morley?
- Inspector Winship: No!...” (continue) (continue reading)