“There's a big rap concert in the Bronx tonight. Somebody's gonna die.”
Chris Rock - Lance Barton

“- Joe Devine: Have you actually seen a person die, watched them bleed to death, seen them take their last breath? I've seen that... many times.
- Steven Schats: Why have you seen that?
- Joe Devine: I used to produce music videos.”
Alec Baldwin - Joe Devine
Matthew Broderick - Steven Schats

“- Rob Gordon: Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelis and the Palestinians.
- Laura: No, it's really not, Rob. You know why? Because Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel make pop records.
- Rob Gordon: Made. Made. Marvin Gaye is dead. His father shot him.”
John Cusack - Rob Gordon
Iben Hjejle - Laura

“- Bill: If I die, you can have my Megadeth collection.
- Ted: But, dude, we're already dead.
- Bill: Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.”
Alex Winter - Bill
Keanu Reeves - Ted

“Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!”
Richard Harris - Albus Dumbledore