“- Max: It was all going to be so perfect, Lucy. Just like one big, happy family. Your boys... and my boys.
- Edgar Frog: Great! The Bloodsucking Brady Bunch!”
Edward Herrmann - Max
Corey Feldman - Edgar Frog

“My life was shaped because someone invented gunpowder, and that's what took me around the world. But the memory that I wanted, that was the family that I lost.”
Michael Douglas - Charles Remington

“Okay. Thanks to Sid, we're now traveling together, and, like it or not, we're gonna be one big, happy family. I'll be the daddy, Ellie will be the mommy, and Diego will be the uncle who eats the kids who get on my nerves.”
Ray Romano - Manny

“- Clark Griswold: Have you even driven cross-country?
- Roy Walley: Oh, hell yes. Drove the whole family to Florida. Worst two weeks I ever spent in my life.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Eddie Bracken - Roy Walley

“- Rachel: Do you have a family?
- Harry Dalton: No.
- Rachel: Why not?
- Harry Dalton: Well, for one thing: I move around alot. Mexico, Alaska, South America, The Philippines, New Guinea, basically where there's a volcano with an attitude.”
Linda Hamilton - Rachel Wando
Pierce Brosnan - Harry Dalton