“I got a PHD. A poser hater degree.”
Jamie Kennedy - Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman

“Yuck! It's terrible and wonderful at the same time! It's like freedom in a cup!”

Ashton Kutcher - Elliot

“Do you want some free advice? Coffee. Make friends with it.”

Brendan Fletcher - Mark Davis

“- Sheik Riyadh: How is the coffee? If you were to put a horseshoe in it, do you suppose it would stand erect?
- Katib: At your age uncle, I suppose it is that only thing that might!
- Sheik Riyadh: Boldly spoken... for a man with no wives.”
Omar Sharif - Sheikh Riyadh
Silas Carson - Katib

“- Simon Birch: What does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
- Rev. Russell: They're merely refreshments so people can socialize and talk about up coming events.”
Ian Michael Smith - Simon Birch
David Strathairn - Rev. Russell