“- Reporter: Why are you in town?
- Nick Charles: My wife is on a bender. I'm trying to sober her up.”
Thomas E. Jackson - Reporter
William Powell - Nick Charles

“You should've seen my mother. She was wonderful. Blonde, beautiful, intelligent, alcoholic. We used to drink milk together after school. Mine was homogenized. Hers was loaded. Once they picked her up for speeding. They clocked her doing 55. All right, but in our garage? And when they tested her... they found out that her alcohol had 2% blood.”
Robert De Niro - Rupert Pupkin

“- Rocky Dennis: I hate you going out every night and coming home wasted all the time!
- Rusty Dennis: It's none of your goddamn business!
- Rocky Dennis: You're my mother!
- Rusty Dennis: Well, you're not my warden!”
Eric Stoltz - Rocky Dennis
Cher - Rusty Dennis

“- Lesly: You were spying on us?
- Mrs. Pascal: A mother doesn't spy. A mother pays attention.”
Tori Spelling - Lesly
Geneviève Bujold - Mrs. Pascal

“- Charles Remington: I'm a very considerate man. My mother taught me that. What the hell you laughing about? You don't think I'm considerate?
- Samuel: I don't believe you had a mother.”
Michael Douglas - Charles Remington
John Kani - Samuel