“- Daphne Wilder: Well, who would you choose for my daughter?
- Johnny: Me.
- Daphne Wilder: What? No way! Oh, please. I am not setting my daughter up with an attractive, charming musician who will just break her heart.
- Johnny: Wow. I love being reduced to a cultural cliche.”
Diane Keaton - Daphne Wilder
Gabriel Macht - Johnny

“Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.”
Sarah Silverman

“I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. One time I secretly wanted to be a writer.”
Cary Grant - C. K. Dexter Haven

“- Brian: Waste not, want not.
- Johnny: And other clichés.
- Brian: But a cliché is full of truth, otherwise it wouldn't be a cliché.
- Johnny: Which is in itself a cliché.”
Peter Wight - Brian
David Thewlis - Johnny

“These days, when someone smokes in the movies, they're either a psychopath or a European.”
Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor