“When you know too much about a person, sometimes it's hard to think of them sexually, but when you know someone in a sexual way, it's hard to think of them as a person.”
Lorri Bagley - Judy

“- Elvin Clyde: Who did you go as?
- Peter Appleton: A horny young man.”
Bob Balaban - Elvin Clyde
Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton

“- Betty: It's been awhile since we had a little cuddle.
- Yellowbeard: I raped ya, if that's what you mean.
- Betty: Okay. It was half-cuddle, half-rape.”
Madeline Kahn - Betty
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard

“You and I exist on opposite sides of a great existential divide, that being your pathetic virginity on the one hand and my astonishing number of sexual conquests on the other. You're simply jealous.”

David Krumholtz - Francis Davenport

- Alison Bradbury: You didn't sleep with her?
- Walter "Gib" Gibson: Still seeing Jason?
- Alison Bradbury: Broke up.
- Walter "Gib" Gibson: That's too bad.
- Alison Bradbury: You didn't sleep with her.
- Walter "Gib" Gibson: Wasn't my type.
Daphne Zuniga - Alison Bradbury
John Cusack - Walter "Gib" Gibson