“There’s no better way to destroy someone’s life than to uncover their secrets.”
Manolo Cardona - Alex

“- Miles Logan: Damn. What happened? Did you eat the whole time I was in there? Wait a minute, that's alright. I can adjust, it's the love that counts. I can adjust to a plus size woman, just more cushion for the pushing.
- Shawna: Janiece! Your sad-ass sack of bones is here!
- Miles Logan: I apologize, you're her cousin. Can I buy you some cereal?”

Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan
Octavia Spencer - Shawna

“I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.”
John C. Reilly - Cal Naughton Jr.

- Susan Cooper: I still, you know, hear my mom's voice... "well-behaved women often make history."
- Nancy B. Artingstall: Yes you do know the phrase is, "well-behaved women seldom make history."
- Susan Cooper: Yeah that's never how she said it.
Melissa McCarthy - Susan Cooper
Miranda Hart - Nancy B. Artingstall

“It's about distraction. It's about focus. The brain is slow and it can't multitask. Tap him here, take from there.”
Will Smith - Nicky