“- New Mother: Is it a boy or a girl?
- Obstretrician: Now I think it's a bit early to start imposing roles on it, don't you?”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Obstretrician

“- Audrey Timmonds: Wait, I don't get it... If he's the first of his kind, how can he be pregnant? Doesn't he need a mate?
- Dr. Niko Tatopoulus: Not if he reproduces asexually.
- Audrey Timmonds: Where's the fun in that?”
Maria Pitillo - Audrey Timmonds
Matthew Broderick - Dr. Niko Tatopoulos

“Sex is the sewer drain of a healthy body, sir! Any use of the sexual act other than procreation is a waste of vital energy! Wasted seeds are wasted lives!”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Dr. John Harvey Kellogg

- Dr. Alex Hesse: I've noticed that the side effects of pregnancy are greatly amplified... With the dosage of Expectane that l've required. The morning sickness, the mood swings. Sleepiness, sexual appetite.
- Dr. Larry Arbogast: Sexual appetite?
- Dr. Alex Hesse: Yesterday, just scooping the middle out of a honeydew melon gave me a... a "Steifen".
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Dr. Alex Hesse
Danny DeVito - Dr. Larry Arbogast

“- Dr. Diana Reddin: Do you have your own room?
- Dr. Alex Hesse: Yes. Why?
- Dr. Diana Reddin: Well, call me old-fashioned, but I'll be damned if I'm having a child with a man I've never even slept with.”
Emma Thompson - Dr. Diana Reddin
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Dr. Alex Hesse