“- Nun: Have you ever been down the Yellow River?
- Leon: ...Yea, once in the '80s but I did not enjoy it...”
Joan Messiah - Nun
Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

“I like to help people. I am like Mother Theresa... but of bonin'.”
Tim meadows - Leon Phelps

“- Joey: Vince, we can't waste a nun.
- Vince LaRocca: What are you two nuts talking about? It's Deloris, in a costume.
- Willy: How do you know she didn't sign up and become one of them when she was there? Things like this happen.
- Vince LaRocca: Because I know this woman. In the biblical sense and she ain't no nun.”
Robert Miranda - Joey
Harvey Keitel - Vince LaRocca
Richard Portnow - Willy

“- Mary Patrick: I can't believe the Pope is coming! This is better than ice cream!
- Mary Robert: It's better than springtime!
- Deloris: It's better than sex! No, I mean, I've heard.”
Kathy Najimy - Mary Patrick
Wendy Makkena - Mary Robert
Whoopi Goldberg - Deloris

“- Sally: Where did you come from?
- The Cat: Hm… How do I put this... When a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that...
- Conrad: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Where did you come from?
- The Cat: My place, what do you think?”
Dakota Fanning - Sally
Mike Myers - The Cat
Spencer Breslin - Conrad