“- Danny: Do you like coke?
- Augie: I like the idea of it more than I actually like it.”
Paul Rudd - Danny
Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Augie

“Yes, I like it!”

Chevy Chase - Max Fielder

“- Eli: Matt, she's a porn star! Okay? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!
- Matthew Kidman: Eli, I like this girl.
- Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her. Matthew, I tell you that you're going to regret this. What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass.”
Chris Marquette - Eli
Emile Hirsch - Matthew Kidman

“- Roger Wesley: There are three things I love in this world: Kylie Minogue, small dimples just above a woman's buttocks...
- Allen Gamble: Beautiful features.
- Roger Wesley: And the fear in a man's eye when he know's I'm about to hurt him.”
Ray Stevenson - Roger Wesley
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“He told me afterwards in terms of absolute value, sex and drugs were equally meaningless to him. Just two different ways to have fun. Which is all well and good, until a girl tries out the same approach.”
Christina Ricci - Elizabeth