“- Counselor: People your age in the work force are usually considered real pains in the ass.
- Bridget Cardigan: Are you aware that statement is discriminatory and illegal?
- Counselor: See! And you don't even work for me.”
Denise Lee - Counselor
Diane Keaton - Bridget Cardigan

“The Blackrobes want us to give up the dream. To have only one wife. To stop killing our enemies. If we obey them, we will no longer be Hurons. And soon our enemies will know our weakness and wipe us from the earth.”

“An old nigger and an old Jew woman taking off down the road together... that is one sorry sight!”

Ray McKinnon - Alabama trooper #1

“There are no midgets in the United States Air Force.”
Burt Lancaster - Gen. Lawrence Dell

“Now listen here, you mullet. Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!”

Terence Stamp - Bernadette