“You're the jury. It's your job to decide who's telling the truth. Truth. That's what 'verdict' means. It's a word comes down from Old England and all our little old ancestors.”
Lane Smith - Jim Trotter III

“- Judge: Ms. Jackson please control your client or I will hold you both in contempt of court.
- Ted: Oh piss off! All right? I'm standing up for me, and I 'm standing up for the homos! We deserve respect!
- Samantha Jackson: Ted shut up!”
Ron Canada - Judge
Seth MacFarlane - Ted
Amanda Seyfried - Samantha

“This court finds that the seizure of His Majesty's Armed Vessel Bounty was an act of mutiny by Fletcher Christian and others of her crew, and that her captain Lieutenant William Bligh is, in the opinion of this court, to be exonerated of all blame on this occasion.”
Laurence Olivier - Admiral Hood

“There will be no cross-examination in this court. You may speak, if you like. But let me warn you, Mr. Webster - if you fail to convince us, then you, too, are doomed.”

H.B. Warner - Justice John Hathorne

“There's only three reasons why you can't make your court date. One, you're in a hospital. Two, you're in jail. Three, your ass is dead.”
Tommy "Tiny" Lister - Winston