“Here's a tip: if you ever get the chance to travel with a Mexican rodeo... pass.”

Charlie Sheen - Zane Zaminsky

“- Erin: Tell me you did not go to Mexico to buy weed.
- Kemper: We did not go to Mexico to buy weed.”
Jessica Biel - Erin
Eric Balfour - Kemper

“That guy. He's more drama than a Mexican soap opera.”

Matthew Lillard - Luke

“- Coach Ed Gennero: Is it fatal?
- Doctor: Indigestion? Only in Mexico.”
Héctor Elizondo - Coach Ed Gennero

“You know Joe, it didn't sit right with me when you married a Mexican woman. But I look at her today, she's beautiful. She's a beautiful and good woman. Boy was I wrong. I was dead wrong.”

Charles Bronson - Mr. Roberts