“If you tell a bad joke, you can put a laugh track over it - but the joke's still not funny.”
Robin Williams - Tom Dobbs

“Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew young. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I'd congratulate him on being a great man, and thank him for being a friend.”
Ian Bannen - Jackie O'Shea

“- Buddy Kupfer: Conal Cochran, the all time genius in the practical jokes. He invented sticky toilet paper.
- Daniel Challis: Ah!
- Buddy Kupfer: Oh you must know. The dead dwarf gag, the soft chainsaw, all his.”
Ralph Strait - Buddy Kupfer
Tom Atkins - Daniel Challis

“- Eddie: No problem, fellas. It ain't a hole. It's a tunnel. And what's every tunnel got?
- Norby: Ooh! Don't tell me! I know, I know, I know. It's uh…
- Veeko: Tollbooth at the end.
- Eddie: Are you always this stupid, or do you do this just to annoy me?”
Joe Mantegna - Eddie
Joe Pantoliano - Norby
Brian Haley - Veeko

“- Harriet Miller: How are we supposed to know what's going on?
- Rodney Miller: It's all Greek to me.”
Fiona Reid - Harriet Miller
Bruce Gray - Rodney Miller