“- Crawl: Do you believe in the tooth fairy?
- Zack: No.
- Crawl: I wouldn't fall asleep tonight if I were you.
- Zack:Mmmooooommmm!!!!
- Crawl: Sssshhhh! Dude, I was just kidding. Sshhh. Chill”
Pauly Shore - Crawl
Patrick Renna - Zack Warner

“- Vincent Benedict: Moneytalks and bullshit walks!
- Julius Benedict: How can bullshit walk?”
Danny DeVito - Vincent Benedict
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Julius Benedict

“- Newton Crosby: Holy shit.
- Number 5: No shit. Where see shit?”
Steve Guttenberg - Newton Crosby
Tim Blaney - Number 5

“- Eddie Langston: TV scares me. It makes everything seem credible.
- Hemmings: Why is that so bad?
- Eddie Langston: If everything seems credible then nothing seems credible.”
Lewis Niles Black - Eddie Langston
Rick Roberts - Hemmings

“When you're in love with a beautiful woman, she can tell you that Gandhi ate hot dogs and you'll believe her.”
Christopher Walken - Jack Menken