“You get a house with a 25 year roof, an indestructible Jap-economy shitbox, you put the rest into the system at three to five percent to pay your taxes and that's your base, get me? That's your fortress of fucking solitude.”
John Goodman - Frank

“- Alex: Dude, your bed is a car.
- Jeff: Yeah, but it’s a fucking sweet car!”
Allen Covert - Alex

“- Jeff: What's up Douche Bigalow?
- Alex: Hey Speed Racer. What'd you do, valet your bed?
- Jeff: No, but I'll self park it in your ass.”
Nick Swardson - Jeff

“- Mark: You see? It has no waves.
- Stevo: Why didn't you just get a normal bed... that has no waves?
[awkward silence]
- Mark: But this has no waves.”

Til Schweiger - Mark
Matthew Lillard - Stevo

“- Secretary Cleary: Are you okay in here?
- Jeremy Grey: I was just having a baddream.”

Christopher Walken - Secretary Cleary
Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey