“- Leonard Crabbe: One in three people over 60 either have a flaccid or a spastic bladder, so every 13.5 seconds a new incontinent is born. The good old constipation. You have impacted fecal mass in your rectum, you find that pushing on your bladder...
- Mickey Crabbe: You know, this might make good dessert talk.”

Jim Piddock - Leonard Crabbe
Catherine O'Hara - Mickey Crabbe

“Dancing's just a conversation between two people. Talk to me.”
Harry Connick Jr. - Justin Matisse

- Carl Showalter: You ever been to Minneapolis?
- Gaear Grimsrud: Nope.
- Carl Showalter: Would it... kill you to say something?
- Gaear Grimsrud: I did.
- Carl Showalter: "No". That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a fountain of conversation there, buddy. That's a geyser.
Steve Buscemi - Carl Showalter
Peter Stormare - Gaear Grimsrud

“Let's have an intelligent conversation here: I'll talk, and you listen.”
Dennis Hopper - Deacon

“- April: This is Derek.
- Mark: Cool. How long you guys been dating?
- April: We're just friends. He's like the gayest person I've ever met, but I make out with him when I'm drunk sometimes.
- Mark: If you don't want to talk to me, you can just say so.
- April: I don't want to talk to you.”

Aubrey Plaza - April Ludgate
Paul Schneider - Mark Brendanawicz