Burt Reynolds movie quotes

“I'm just waiting for somebody to say I'm a fag - that's when you're a really big star.”
Burt Reynolds

“- Bandit: You chasin' somebody Sheriff? Somebody chasin' you?
- Sheriff Buford T. Justice of Portague County: Nobody's chasin' me, boy!”
Burt Reynolds - Bandit
Jackie Gleason - Sheriff Buford T. Justice of Portague County

“- Gillian Bromley: That was the worst Peter Sellers I have ever heard.
- Jack Rhodes: I wasn't doing Peter Sellers - I was doing Peter Sellers doing Omar Sharif!”

Lesley-Anne Down - Gillian Bromley
Burt Reynolds - Jack Rhodes

“- 'Bandit': Who did it?
- Cledus Snow: Don't look at me.
- Doc: Probably another elephant.
- 'Bandit': I know that, when did it happen?
- Doc: Long time ago.”

Burt Reynolds - Bandit
Jerry Reed - Cledus
Dom DeLuise - Doc

“- Jack Horner: Where are you going?
- Becky Barnett: I gotta go wash my vagina.
- Jack Horner: How long you gonna be?
- Becky Barnett: Five minutes. You want it clean, don't you?”

Burt Reynolds - Jack Horner
Nicole Ari Parker - Becky Barnett

“- Wendell Sonny Lawson: Mom, I've been having trouble getting sleep lately. Do you have any sleeping pills?
- Maureen Lawson: Sleeping pills? I don't think we have any sleeping pills do we, Ben?
- Ben Lawson: Your know darn well we have enough sleeping pills in there to put the whole Mormon Tabernacle Choir in a coma!”
Burt Reynolds - Wendell Sonny Lawson
Myrna Loy - Maureen Lawson
Pat O'Brien - Ben Lawson

“Bless me, Dave, for I have sinned.”
Burt Reynolds - Wendell Sonny Lawson

“- Dominoe: This is all you know, isn't it? Pushing, hitting, and punching! Does it make you feel good or something?
- Sharky: Sometimes, yes!”
Rachel Ward - Dominoe
Burt Reynolds - Sharky

“These are some of the poorest people I know. They're more broke than the Ten Commandments.”
Burt Reynolds - Charlie B. Barkin

“- Itchy Itchiford: Boss, Carface has got thugs, and they've got muscles, and knives, and he's got a monster.
- Charlie B. Barkin: Monster?
- Itchy Itchiford: Boss, they feed it!
- Charlie B. Barkin: Monster?
- Itchy Itchiford: Yes that's what I said, monster!”
Dom DeLuise - Itchy Itchiford
Burt Reynolds - Charlie B. Barkin

“- Pembrook Feeney: He just made me mad, that's all, so I kicked him in the scrotum.
- Stroker Ace: Scrotum?
- Lugs Harvey: What's a scrotum?
- Stroker Ace: I dunno.
- Lugs Harvey: I think I'll find out.”

Loni Anderson - Pembrook Feeney
Burt Reynolds - Stroker Ace
Jim Nabors - Lugs

“- Buford T. Justice: As you can see, Bandit, I've got my piece in my hand.
- 'Bandit': You've got your what in your hand?”

Jackie Gleason - Sheriff Buford T. Justice
Burt Reynolds - Bandit

“- Katie: Haven't you ever heard of cholesterol?
- Stick: Yeah, it's the stuff they put in red meat that makes it taste good.”
Tricia Leigh Fisher - Katie
Burt Reynolds - Stick

“- Jo Barlow: Mr. Malone, can I ask you a question? Are you a criminal?
- Malone: I'm sure you could find some people who think so.”

Cynthia Gibb - Jo Barlow
Burt Reynolds - Malone

“- Billy Clyde Puckett: Shake, old buddy, you know what I'm choosing to do?
- Marvin 'Shake' Tiller: What?
- Billy Clyde Puckett: I am choosing to win this fucking game.”
Burt Reynolds - Billy Clyde Puckett
Kris Kristofferson - Marvin 'Shake' Tiller

“- Maggie: You can't love anything!
- Buddy Evans: I love you... five minutes ago when I smiled, it was the first time I had since you left.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Maggie
Burt Reynolds - Buddy Evans

“- Carrie: You have a great profile.
- Bandit: Yeah, I do, don't I? Especially from the side.
- Carrie: Well, at least we agree on something.
- Bandit: Yeah. We both like half of my face.”
Sally Field - Carrie
Burt Reynolds - Bandit

“- Carrie: That is it for you! You have had it! You're hooked! You're a fame junkie! They should give you intravenous feedings of People magazine and National Enquirer headlines! And if you're a real good boy, they'll give you a Tonight Show enema!
- 'Bandit': What is the matter?
- Carrie: And if you weren't so dumb, they'd put you on Cross-Wits!”

Sally Field - Carrie
Burt Reynolds - Bandit

“I'm gonna find the guy who invented Xylocaine and kiss his ass on Hollywood and Vine!”
Burt Reynolds - Sonny Hooper

“- Stroker Ace: The son of a bitch hit me and spun me out. I can't remember his name.
- NASCAR Driver: You never can, can you?
- Stroker Ace: Anyway, he spun me out. What do you think I should do with him?
- NASCAR Driver: I think you ought to stick him in the fence.
- Stroker Ace: Good idea, Neil.”
Burt Reynolds - Stroker Ace
Neil Bonnett - NASCAR Driver

“- Mona Stangley: You ain't never gonna be no more than you are right now: a chicken-shit sheriff in a chicken-shit town!
- Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd: You may be right, but it's a hell of a lot better than being a whore.”
Dolly Parton - Mona Stangley
Burt Reynolds - Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd

“- Congressman David Dilbeck: You don't know how much I love you. I even sent my man Erb to collect your lint!
- Erin Grant: My lint?
- Congressman David Dilbeck: Fresh, hot lint!
- Erin Grant: And what did you do with that fresh, hot lint?
- Congressman David Dilbeck: Well, I'm afraid I made love to it.”
Burt Reynolds - Congressman David Dilbeck
Demi Moore - Erin Grant

“I don't know the difference between Picasso and a car crash.”
Burt Reynolds - General Newton

“- 'Bandit': She's as strong as an ox.
- Doc: She is strong as an ox, now she has to get strong as an elephant.”

Burt Reynolds - Bandit
Dom DeLuise - Doc

- Jack Rhodes: How much do you want for the diamonds?
- Chief Insp. Cyril Willis: Well, um... Would you think that one million dollars is fair?
- Jack Rhodes: No, I don't think one million dollars is fair. I think three million dollars is fair.
- Chief Insp. Cyril Willis: Well, let me say this: I prefer your definition of "fair".
Burt Reynolds - Jack Rhodes
David Niven - Chief Insp. Cyril Willis