Burt Reynolds movie quotes

“I'm just waiting for somebody to say I'm a fag - that's when you're a really big star.”
Burt Reynolds

“- Bandit: You chasin' somebody Sheriff? Somebody chasin' you?
- Sheriff Buford T. Justice of Portague County: Nobody's chasin' me, boy!”
Burt Reynolds - Bandit
Jackie Gleason - Sheriff Buford T. Justice of Portague County

“When you tell somebody somethin', it depends on what part of the country you're standin' in... as to just how dumb you are.”
Burt Reynolds - Bandit

“- Gillian Bromley: That was the worst Peter Sellers I have ever heard.
- Jack Rhodes: I wasn't doing Peter Sellers - I was doing Peter Sellers doing Omar Sharif!”

Lesley-Anne Down - Gillian Bromley
Burt Reynolds - Jack Rhodes

“- 'Bandit': Who did it?
- Cledus Snow: Don't look at me.
- Doc: Probably another elephant.
- 'Bandit': I know that, when did it happen?
- Doc: Long time ago.”

Burt Reynolds - Bandit
Jerry Reed - Cledus
Dom DeLuise - Doc

“- Jack Horner: Where are you going?
- Becky Barnett: I gotta go wash my vagina.
- Jack Horner: How long you gonna be?
- Becky Barnett: Five minutes. You want it clean, don't you?”

Burt Reynolds - Jack Horner
Nicole Ari Parker - Becky Barnett

“- Wendell Sonny Lawson: Mom, I've been having trouble getting sleep lately. Do you have any sleeping pills?
- Maureen Lawson: Sleeping pills? I don't think we have any sleeping pills do we, Ben?
- Ben Lawson: Your know darn well we have enough sleeping pills in there to put the whole Mormon Tabernacle Choir in a coma!”
Burt Reynolds - Wendell Sonny Lawson
Myrna Loy - Maureen Lawson
Pat O'Brien - Ben Lawson

“Bless me, Dave, for I have sinned.”
Burt Reynolds - Wendell Sonny Lawson

“- Dominoe: This is all you know, isn't it? Pushing, hitting, and punching! Does it make you feel good or something?
- Sharky: Sometimes, yes!”
Rachel Ward - Dominoe
Burt Reynolds - Sharky

“These are some of the poorest people I know. They're more broke than the Ten Commandments.”
Burt Reynolds - Charlie B. Barkin

“- Itchy Itchiford: Boss, Carface has got thugs, and they've got muscles, and knives, and he's got a monster.
- Charlie B. Barkin: Monster?
- Itchy Itchiford: Boss, they feed it!
- Charlie B. Barkin: Monster?
- Itchy Itchiford: Yes that's what I said, monster!”
Dom DeLuise - Itchy Itchiford
Burt Reynolds - Charlie B. Barkin

“- Pembrook Feeney: He just made me mad, that's all, so I kicked him in the scrotum.
- Stroker Ace: Scrotum?
- Lugs Harvey: What's a scrotum?
- Stroker Ace: I dunno.
- Lugs Harvey: I think I'll find out.”

Loni Anderson - Pembrook Feeney
Burt Reynolds - Stroker Ace
Jim Nabors - Lugs

“- Buford T. Justice: As you can see, Bandit, I've got my piece in my hand.
- 'Bandit': You've got your what in your hand?”

Jackie Gleason - Sheriff Buford T. Justice
Burt Reynolds - Bandit

“- Katie: Haven't you ever heard of cholesterol?
- Stick: Yeah, it's the stuff they put in red meat that makes it taste good.”
Tricia Leigh Fisher - Katie
Burt Reynolds - Stick

“- Jo Barlow: Mr. Malone, can I ask you a question? Are you a criminal?
- Malone: I'm sure you could find some people who think so.”

Cynthia Gibb - Jo Barlow
Burt Reynolds - Malone

“- Billy Clyde Puckett: Shake, old buddy, you know what I'm choosing to do?
- Marvin 'Shake' Tiller: What?
- Billy Clyde Puckett: I am choosing to win this fucking game.”
Burt Reynolds - Billy Clyde Puckett
Kris Kristofferson - Marvin 'Shake' Tiller

“- Maggie: You can't love anything!
- Buddy Evans: I love you... five minutes ago when I smiled, it was the first time I had since you left.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Maggie
Burt Reynolds - Buddy Evans

“- Carrie: You have a great profile.
- Bandit: Yeah, I do, don't I? Especially from the side.
- Carrie: Well, at least we agree on something.
- Bandit: Yeah. We both like half of my face.”
Sally Field - Carrie
Burt Reynolds - Bandit

“- Carrie: That is it for you! You have had it! You're hooked! You're a fame junkie! They should give you intravenous feedings of People magazine and National Enquirer headlines! And if you're a real good boy, they'll give you a Tonight Show enema!
- 'Bandit': What is the matter?
- Carrie: And if you weren't so dumb, they'd put you on Cross-Wits!”

Sally Field - Carrie
Burt Reynolds - Bandit

“I'm gonna find the guy who invented Xylocaine and kiss his ass on Hollywood and Vine!”
Burt Reynolds - Sonny Hooper

“- Stroker Ace: The son of a bitch hit me and spun me out. I can't remember his name.
- NASCAR Driver: You never can, can you?
- Stroker Ace: Anyway, he spun me out. What do you think I should do with him?
- NASCAR Driver: I think you ought to stick him in the fence.
- Stroker Ace: Good idea, Neil.”
Burt Reynolds - Stroker Ace
Neil Bonnett - NASCAR Driver

“- Mona Stangley: You ain't never gonna be no more than you are right now: a chicken-shit sheriff in a chicken-shit town!
- Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd: You may be right, but it's a hell of a lot better than being a whore.”
Dolly Parton - Mona Stangley
Burt Reynolds - Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd

“- Congressman David Dilbeck: You don't know how much I love you. I even sent my man Erb to collect your lint!
- Erin Grant: My lint?
- Congressman David Dilbeck: Fresh, hot lint!
- Erin Grant: And what did you do with that fresh, hot lint?
- Congressman David Dilbeck: Well, I'm afraid I made love to it.”
Burt Reynolds - Congressman David Dilbeck
Demi Moore - Erin Grant

“I don't know the difference between Picasso and a car crash.”
Burt Reynolds - General Newton

“- 'Bandit': She's as strong as an ox.
- Doc: She is strong as an ox, now she has to get strong as an elephant.”

Burt Reynolds - Bandit
Dom DeLuise - Doc